slowly but surely im recovering from my foot injury and surgery. . . funny thing is during this time period i've realized that people arent all that they turn out to be. . .when your fine and happy dappy they come around so long as its to their advantage. For example if youd throw a party you'd have a ton of  "friends" come over and everything but when you need help the most theyre no where to be found. It makes me sick how people lately wont come around even for a half hour to support a friend.

Everything thats done to me will be done right back to you.

the withdrawals are just as disasterous as the drugs themselves......

I don't think i've ever been this angry in my life. I recently got a foot injury which has resulted in surgery and i've contacted my professors to make accomadations and make up exams. My history professor has been more than understanding and said that its not going to be a problem. My math professor on the other hand is so unprofessional about it and he even stuck another professor on me about the issue saying that he is going to take a away my right to a make up midterm exam and just raise my final from 40% to 60% which is not fair because what happens if for some reason i dont feel well or whatever around the final because of my foot and dont do so good....its like wtf!! Im emailing the chairman person for the board of math....because there is no way in hell some one can come and say "ur disabled so you dont have a chance at the midterm...see ya round". So thank god for laws about this kind of bullshit. People are such retarded fucks.

Sometimes i wonder why human nature is made to remember all thats bad and not whats good. However, humans do remember the good but only for a short duration. They find it hard to accept something so unusal and know that its right. Its a sweet suprise that many could get use to. But whats even more difficult to accept is that it hits the soul and feels right. Not even human. . . .

I must say im quite lucky with what i have but what if the one thing you wanted most could not be satisfied. You get torn between what you want and whether or not your acting selfishly. But isn't that human nature....to be selfish? I find it unbelievable that people allow you to trek into dangerous territory and not stop you before hand making a mess of things in the end. Perhaps it was my own fault because i didn't see things clearly i was living inside a dream that tasted sweet.

 Im shocked that i wasn't even comforted to the least bit or reassured in the slightest manner. Instead i had the door slammed in my face and the topic of conversation swept under the rug. So much for being good friends. I really want to lash out and blame but its useless...pointless in fact. In the end it just makes you better for not doing so. What makes me angry is when i hear people say "i love you" when they feel threatened or really panic stricken when in a relationship. I was talking to a good friend in chicago about that and he was telling me how its wrong to ever throw that phrase into a situation that has to be talked through instead of avoided and just hidden. seriously grow some balls. Pissing me the F off. Its like "F**k!" *throws hands in the air* whatever. i hate being an emo F**k because its really retarded and childish but hey it helps so whatever.

Just going to have the most whatever...F this world attitude tomorrow at lunch and just be like whatever dude talk to the hand cuz the face ain't listening. Shits getting annoying and quite frankly i'm getting sick and tired.

I don't know where my heart has gone. Probably in the eyes of a stranger. I hope it comes back soon though.

We'll see how tomorrow turns out......

 other than that i'm fabulous  got in touch with some of my girlies that i hadn't heard from in forever. Got accepted to UCSD....had a wonderful family get together for an early b-day celebration. Have a 6 chapter exam for next thursday yaya. but the good thing about that is i get to enjoy my b-day at least in the evening. I'm happy with all my school plans falling through because i'm one step closer to medical school and my MCAT which is going to be awesome. Thats all the ranting i have. And besides you gotta realize that there was so much on my shoulders that i just had to let it off through xanga other than that i'm not a lamo like this.